A Small Step Forward

In a move that is sure to send pong balls sailing towards the heavens in delight, beer and wine may finally start being sold in New Jersey grocery stores.

Gone will be the days of a separate trip to the liquor store to buy beer for your barbecue burgers, or the box of wine to help that hooker wash down her crack.  New Jersey will be one step closer to equality with other states, who trust their citizens to buy a six-pack at (gasp) 7-11!

Trying to explain the inability to do this is like trying to explain to an out-of-stater that we are not allowed to pump our own gas.  There's no truly good reason for this inadequacy.  It's just something we've put up with, while staring jealously at those smug Long Islander's and their gas station obtainable beer.

There are opponents to the measure, of course.  This small liquor store owner makes a valid point:

"It will kill any small business like us," said Dilip Patel, who owns liquor stores in South River and South Amboy. "By passing this bill, a lot of small business is going to be shut down."

Oh, silly, silly Dilip.  Only crappy liquor stores will be closed down.  Good liquor stores will continue to thrive with their beer and wine variety, kegs, and plentiful spirits.  Crappy liquor stores, like the one across the street when I lived in Nutley, will hopefully die a well deserved death.  I think you've been to a few of these places.

-  They sell $6.50 six-packs of Miller Lite when everyone else charges $4.25. 

-  They post hours of operation on the door, then adhere to them only when they feel like it.

- They are constantly out of Bud Light, but they have plenty of Bud Dry. 

- They give you terrible either/or options.  For example, either you can buy a dust-covered fifth of Ketel One for $30, or a plastic jug of "Commrade Boris' Sleepytime Vodcka" for $16.

- They charge $1.50 more then the supermarket for a bag of ice, because they think we are too lazy to make the separate trip to save the money.

Ahhh, but if this passes, we won't have to worry about that anymore.  We can get the basics in the same place as our raviolis and creamed spinach.  When we want variety, we will make a trip to the liquor store the "extra" stop, and not the primary destination.  And best of all, we will no longer be subject to the price gouging of stores fattened from the greed of being the only game in town.

Now, if we could only get beer Slurpees at the 7-11.....