Since Andy Pettite will be a member of the Yankees again this season, with games to be called by the YES Network and Tim McCarver on FOX all season, and the Mitchell Report implicating Andy in steroid use, it's time to revise the Andy Pettite Drinking Game rules...
The Old Rules (multiply these x4, for the good old days sake)
Rule 1) Whenever the announcers begin to talk about Andy's pick-off move to first base, drink. Stop when they shut up about it for 10 seconds straight.
Rule 2) Every time the word "balk" is spoken, set aside a beer to be drank before the end of the game. You will have a headache tomorrow.
Rule 3) If Andy picks off the runner at first, do two shots. You will be sick tomorrow.
Rule 4) If Andy actually balks...call out of work tomorrow.
The New Rules
Rule 1) Whenever the announcer says the words "steroids" or "Mitchell Report" , drink.
Rule 2) Whenever the announcer talks about Andy Pettite's personal relationship with Roger Clemens, drink until they stop, then double it.
Rule 3) Whenever the announcer talks about Andy Pettite's personal relationship with God, drink until they stop, double it, chase it with a shot and say a Novena.
Rule 4) Whenever the announcer talks about Andy Pettite's personal relationship with Roger Clemens in the same sentence as "steroid injection in the buttocks"....finish everything in the house.
Rule 5) Whenever the announcer talks about Andy Pettite's personal relationship with Roger Clemens in the same sentence as "steroid injection in the buttocks", in the same inning he balks.....become addicted to crack.