Just when I thought I was free from creating any new drinking games involving Andy Pettite, he has to go and do a thing like testify before Congress. Let's keep it uncomplicated, shall we?
If Congress declares a statement by Roger Clemens is either false or a lie, drink.
If Congress declares a statement by Brian McNamee is either false or a lie, drink.
If Congress declares a statement by Andy Pettite is either false or a lie, drink 3.
Anytime a congressman mispronounces someones name, drink.
Anytime the name Jose Conseco is mentioned, take a drink and immediately puke.
Anytime Rusty Hardin or Richard Emery speaks, drink until they stop, or someone beats the crap out of them. You can stop if you go to the hearing and beat the crap out of one or both of them.
If Roger Clemens admits he took steroids, do a shot.
If Andy Pettite admits he took steroids, do 2 shots.
If George Mitchell admits he took steroids, do 3 shots.
If Chuck Knoublach fields a question from Congress only to lob it 5 feet over their heads, do a shot.
If George Steinbrenner attends the hearing, and says something incoherent, do a shot.
If an announcer references Andy Pettite's pick off mood in any context, drink 3 shots.
If Congress mentions Andy Pettite's pick off move in any context, pull out your liver and hit it with a bat a few times. It'll be quicker.
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